Yesterday, I posted the black square on Instagram in support of Blackout Tuesday. Today, I’m following up to ensure it’s not just a vanity post that is forgotten a day later.
First of all, I support the good men and women in law enforcement who serve to protect our communities. I have friends and family in law enforcement and it’s incredibly dangerous and disingenuous to lump them all in with the few who abuse their power to the detriment of others.
What Derek Chauvin did to George Floyd in Minneapolis was pure evil. Full stop. That’s not law enforcement. It’s pure savagery.
While I believe the vast majority of law enforcement officers were sickened by Floyd’s murder, it’s not enough to simply move on and hope it doesn’t happen again. I fully support what Chattanooga police chief David Roddy said last week, that if you wear a badge and don’t have an issue with what was done to Floyd you should turn your badge in. Police brutality needs to stop, and more than that, the way we treat people of color needs to change.
Showing support of, and speaking out for, our black friends and neighbors isn’t something we should do once via a black square on our social media feed. It’s something that should be an active part of our lives. Not out of shame for our whiteness, but out of a heartfelt concern for those who are hurting and afraid and marginalized.
They are hurting for far more than just the Floyd murder or the Ahmaud Arbery assassination. They are afraid for far more than just what happened in Minneapolis or Brunswick. Instead of just watching the news, reading an article from whatever website supports your world view, or scrolling through Twitter, take time to listen to talk to your black friends and neighbors to find out why.
My favorite aspect of barbecue isn’t the food itself. It’s the way the food – and the experience of cooking the food – brings people together. Modern barbecue is the great equalizer. As Sam Jones said, “Barbecue is a food that bridges class gap.”
Think about that for a second. If you walk into a fine dining restaurant, you’re likely not going to see low income people there. If you walk into a run of the mill chain restaurant, you’re likely not going to see wealthy people there. But barbecue is the food that spans that gap, not only in terms of eating but cooking as well.
Barbecue may be seen as “American” but it certainly wasn’t invented in America. In fact, we owe a large part of what we consider traditional American barbecue to the pre-Civil War slaves – a fact that goes to show how black people have been treated here for 200 years. At the time, slave masters took the finer cuts of the animal, such as the tenderloin, and gave the slave cooks the tougher, less desirable pieces. Using the low and slow methods we all take for granted now, the slave cooks turned these cuts of meat into tender and tasty meals.
This past November I attended the Florida Classic in Orlando for work. My client, Florida Blue, sponsored the event, which is the largest annual football game between Historically Black Colleges, Bethune-Cookman and Florida A&M. What I enjoyed most about it was the tailgating atmosphere. The football game itself is just a small part of the event, which spans the whole weekend. They call it the family reunion and most people stay for a few days in RVs.
I spent a couple hours walking through the RV lots, and the tailgating scene rivaled any I have ever seen. I’ve been to games at LSU, Ohio State, Michigan, Notre Dame, Texas, USC, and many more, and this was as good as or better than any of them.
I was the only white guy there, but went up to about a dozen different guys as they stood over their grills and just talked to them about barbecue, one “pitmaster” to another. I didn’t ask for, or expect, samples of what they were cooking, but most of them insisted that I try their food – that’s barbecue culture! From chicken to ribs to fried fish and more, what they were making was just as good as you will find at any barbecue institution in America.
They don’t have the notoriety or the expensive smokers but they know how to cook and they’re welcoming of outsiders.
That’s why I barbecue. For those moments and relationships with people different than me. As Anthony Bourdain said, “Barbecue may not be the road to world peace, but it’s a start.”
So where do we go beyond barbecue?
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I can share some ideas of how to start, beyond just a black box on social media.
Listen to your black friends and neighbors
Instead of just posting a black box on Tuesday, I took time to reach out to my black friends, letting them know that while I may not understand, I hear their pain and anger, and offer support for anything they need, whether it’s a job recommendation or just to listen. The responses I’ve received so far have reflected their hurt and fear. It means something to them to know they have the support of their white friends and that we’re trying to do something.
Even if you still don’t think the black community as a whole needs things to change, take some time to listen to your black friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers — the people you know — and advocate for them. Start there. At the very least, that’s helping those you know just the way you would want their help if you were in their shoes.
Speak up
This one will probably be the hardest because you risk fracturing or losing relationships. If you know of a friend or family member who has racist views, talk to them about it. Call them out, not out of spite but with a sincere heart to help them change because you care about them. Encourage them to speak with and listen – really listen – to black people in their sphere. If they don’t have any, show them what your black friends are saying and encourage them to educate themselves on the issues.
If you see a racist action or hear a racist remark in public, speak up. Don’t just let it slide because speaking up will make you uncomfortable. I can guarantee you it’s making the victim far more than uncomfortable.
Get involved
There are plenty of ways to get involved, as simple as joining a peaceful protest, patronizing black-owned businesses, or using your right to vote to elect people who work for all Americans. I would also suggest asking your black friends what other tangible ways you can get involved.
I also invite you to support an organization that means a lot to me, SOS Children’s Villages Illinois. It’s a foster agency that utilizes professionally-trained full-time foster parents in single family homes within a support village and emphasizes keeping sibling groups together.
In the 4 Chicago-area villages, 88% of the children in care are black. We work to help them succeed in life and school – they attend local public schools, and in 26 years of existence, SOS Illinois has a 100% high school graduation rate – and set them up with the resources to thrive once they age out of the system. SOS Illinois also has a team of social workers who work with the biological parents for a reunification process.
It’s not the solution to everything, but it’s a tangible way to help give one group of young and marginalized black youth a chance.
If you are local to Chicago and would like to get involved, let me know and I’m happy to help you do so. If you are not local to Chicago, but would like to donate to SOS Illinois, you can do so here.
We can all do our part to make things better for our black friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers. We can support the good people in law enforcement and push for change for the things that have caused hurt, anger, and fear in the black community for far too long. Let’s be better together.
